‘Man, its good to finally be back”, Mark Calaway thought, stepping out of the limousine that Vince had sent for him. He’d received a call that morning from a panicked Vince, begging him for help. Sighing, he stepped into the arena, and went into Vince’s office.

“Hey, Vince”, he said.

Vince was sitting at his desk, typing away on his laptop. “Hey, Mark, it’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to BE back”, Mark admitted. “But I gotta know…what the fuck has been goin’ ON here since I got injured?”

Vince sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Pandemonium”, he sighed. “With all these suspensions, we’re getting hard pressed to change the storylines so quickly.”

Mark looked at him. “I guess ya called me to git the young’uns in line”, he said.

Vince nodded. “Yea, that’s the basic plan.”

Mark nodded, and dug into his bag, pulling out his longtime friend. His friend that kept the ‘children’ in line.

He held the massive paddle in his hands, feeling its familiar weight. “Turn me in their general direction, and gimme a gentle push.”

Vince threw back his head and laughed. “This is going to be VERY interesting.”

“I feel like a fuckin’ babysitter”, Mark grumbled as he went out, making Vince laugh harder.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Mark walked through the hallways, keeping his paddle hidden for the most part. The first person he came in contact with was Randy Orton.

“Hey, Deadman, what’s up?” Randy asked.

Mark didn’t say a word. He just brought out the paddle, and started to tap it against his hand.

“Uh…n-now Mark…b-be reasonable…” Randy said nervously, eyeing the massive paddle.

“Now you be a good boy and bend over and take this paddlin’ like a man”, Mark said.

Randy gulped. He had two choices: Either let Mark paddle him now, which would be excruciatingly painful, or run, and have Mark catch him to paddle him anyway.
Either way, he was screwed.

Sighing, Randy bent over, and got about fifty good whacks with said paddle.

“Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Mark asked amusedly.

“Whatever”, Randy muttered, rubbing his sore ass. The worst part was that he had a MATCH later in the night. ‘My ass is gonna be KILLIN’ me’, he thought miserably.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got some more paddlin’ to do. You have a good night”, Mark said, nodding at him and going off.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And so it went through the night. News of Randy’s paddling spread like wildfire, and there were many in the back who were nervous. Rumors started swirling that he got Masters and Kennedy, too. Said rumors were confirmed when they walked around, rubbing their sore behinds.

Brian Kendrick and Paul London hid in the Divas’ dressing room, scared shit, even though Mark wasn’t looking for them.

“Why can’t you hide in your OWN dressing room??” Beth Phoenix asked exasperatedly.

“Because he can FIND us in there”, Brian replied from behind the changing screen.

“Easy for YOU to talk”, Paul said, hiding in one of the lockers. “He’s not gunnin for YOUR asses with a paddle the size of Rhode Island.”

“Well, it’s not OUR fault that YOU guys were stupid!!” Mickie James said.

“Be that as it may”, Michelle McCool said, smiling amusedly, “I think it’s about time that Mark came back and started beating the tar out of you guys. We need some Law and Order around here.”

“Oh, stuff it”, Brian grumbled, making the other girls laugh.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The night wore on, and more and more people were walking around with sore asses: Copeland, Haas, and even Umaga, to name a few. The ones who KNEW that they were in trouble refused to get caught alone, so they were staying in a tight knit group. If they were together, they thought, it’d be harder for Mark to get to them.

How wrong they were.

In Mark’s mind, it just made his ‘Babysitting’ job a whole lot easier, as he didn’t have to hunt them down one by one. If they were together in a whole group, then it was even better.

So, it was about three quarters of the night that had passed, that saw a huge group of WWE Superstars running for their lives away from a nonchalantly strolling Mark, who still had his paddle in his hand.

“Damned boys don’t know that a good paddlin’s good fer buildin’ character”, Mark grunted amusedly.

“Those poor souls”, Glen said, laughing.

“Hell, my mamma paddled my ass good when I misbehaved. It’s turned me into the well adjusted person you see before you”, Mark said. “Pity none of these boys had the same privilege.”

Glen, goofball as he was, wasn’t stupid enough to get caught into the ‘Needs Babysitting’ group. He was content to just sit back and watch the younger ones get their much needed ‘attitude adjustments’. “You’ll show them the way back to the lit path, won’t you,

Deadman?”

Mark grinned evilly. “Hehe.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When the night finally ended, there were at least twenty five people who were walking around with bruised asses: The ones on the list that Vince gave him, a couple that Mark thought needed a good paddling just to keep them in line, and a few…well…just because.

Everyone thought Khali was an idiot just because he didn’t speak English. He was NOT an idiot; therefore he didn’t do anything to piss Mark off. Even though He knew he was bigger than he was, he knew better than to get in his way.

When he was done, he went back to Vince’s office, tapping his trusty paddle in his hand.

“Have fun? Vince asked, laughing.

“Damned right”, Mark said, grinning evilly. “Now, I have one more person I gotta paddle.”

Vince tilted his head. “Who’s that?” he asked.

Mark’s evil grin widened, making Vince’s smile slowly slip from his face in realization…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Dad…why are you walking like that?” Stephanie asked an hour later.

“Shut up”, Vince grumbled, hobbling away.